I got into a discussion today about dating vs. being in a relationship, and how the lines have become quite blurry. Many daters don’t like having “the talk” about whether they’re exclusive, want to be girlfriend/boyfriend, or prefer keeping their options open. No matter what side you’re on, the conversation can feel unnerving. Nobody wants to risk hearing an answer that changes everything. But avoiding the question can create even more confusion.

If you want to be exclusive, you may avoid asking because you fear doubt could kill the relationship. If you do not want commitment, you may keep dating and avoid the topic. Both people continue waiting for someone to say something, while the relationship remains undefined. Silence may feel easier, but it can leave both people making assumptions. One person may be falling in love while the other is still browsing. That is why honesty matters before expectations become painful.

It’s perfectly reasonable to date several people at once, especially when you’re online dating, getting to know someone, or do not want to commit. But the classy thing is to let your dates know. You would not want to discover after three months that the person you like is also dating someone from your yoga class. Clear expectations prevent unnecessary hurt and confusion. Dating casually is not the problem when everyone understands the arrangement.

If you are not interested in a relationship, it is only fair to say so. If you want commitment, do not sit on your hands and let someone else set the schedule. Set boundaries without demanding exclusivity on the third date. The best rule is simple: don’t be a douche. If you do not want someone to treat you that way, do not behave that way yourself. Respect means allowing people to make informed choices about their own hearts. No one should have to wait indefinitely for clarity.